Ви претставуваме неколку ултра популарни твитови од преку-големата-бара.
Молиме, консумирајте ги само за инспирација. Препишувачи стоп! 🙂
When your mother asks if you are sexually active, the correct response is not “No, I just lie there.”
— Jelisa Castrodale (@gordonshumway) February 25, 2010
If some slut tries to steal your boyfriend, remember, that’s actually her husband, & you’re very drunk.
— lauren caltagirone (@MrsRupertPupkin) July 21, 2011
I carry a knife, but it’s just in case of cake.
— Aspersioncast (@Aspersioncast) October 4, 2011
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 15, 2012
Just ate 3 tennis balls by mistake, fuck you Pringle’s.
— Snorklhuahua (@weinerdog4life) March 17, 2012
You clearly cared that jimmy cracked corn enough to write a fucking song about it.
— Jeremy Smith (@JeremyInKC) March 25, 2012
I’ve accepted every email offer I’ve ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
— Jason Berlin (@JasonBerlin) July 28, 2012
There’s a special place in he’ll for autocorrect
— Token Geezer (@Token_Geezer) August 2, 2012
viagra is caps lock for ur dick
— egg dog (@egg_dog) September 12, 2012
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
— Regular Face Danny (@10InchesPlus) September 21, 2012
This Mexican restaurant doesn’t serve chips and salsa so I guess people can just do whatever the fuck they want now?
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) October 8, 2012
Febreeze just makes my bathroom smell like I took a shit in Hawaii.
— Chris Young (@CYComedy) October 16, 2012
I’ve got 66 problems and being upside-down is one.
— SKeagull de Gallo (@SeagullCharlie) November 27, 2012
“Are you single?” “No, I’m in a committed endless discussion about where to have dinner.”
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) December 13, 2012
If you smoke while you’re pregnant your baby comes out wearing a t-shirt and jeans looking cool as hell.
— Nathan Buckley (@duplicitron) January 13, 2013